Heard on the campaign stump #3

I could start a blog on the back of the emails that I get sent by Cowley Street. I really could.

Yesterday I was being lobbied (along with everyone else signed up to the party's email account) to vote Lembit 4 Prez once again. I'm assured that

'as the party's vice-President for the last four years, Lembit has already shown tremendous energy, throwing himself into doing the things he will need to do as President: visiting local parties, motivating and training members, and recruiting new ones.'

'And for those of a less active bent, there this: 'he is already very well known outside political circles. His high media profile will help him to use the post of
President to reach out to ordinary people who don't watch Question Time or
listen to the Today programme.'

So if I vote for Lembit I'll be expected to attend various training sessions? Or perhaps despatched to Hartlepool, where according to his last missive, he will be spending much of his time.

Also a letter from Jody Dunn, our candidate up there. Everything, including the kitchen sink has been thrown in. But to the uninitiated in Lib Dem letters, here's a dissection of what it really means:

'I've now learnt (the hard way) about the need for ultra comfortable shoes at all times during a by-election campaign - the frenetic pace doesn't give your feet much time to recover.'

Ah, yes. Remind everyone how much walking you're doing.

'The future of our local hospital is shaping up to be one of the major
issues in the town. Dr Evan Harris MP has come up from Oxford (thanks Evan!) to
help campaign and his health expertise has been extremely useful.'

Hospital? But so soon! How can this be? Third paragraph in and already the standard campaign material. With a senior name dropped in for good measure.

'Most embarrassing moment of the campaign so far: being asked to wear a
Stetson and line dance in the middle of the town square on The Headland.'

Self-deprecation added in. We don't all want boring candidates do we?

'It never stops in our HQ. The supply of donuts is constant and
occasionally we get a pie and flan from Sheila Tumilty (a great local party
member). People arrive from eight in the morning and there are usually still
people here at midnight - and they come from everywhere.'

Translation: where are you? Why are you not campaigning?

'Luxembourg is the furthest yet (if you discount Charles flying in
from
the Democrat convention in the States).'

Name dropper!

'I hear by-election regular Erlene Watson is going to visit - so
will need to check if Orkney is closer than Luxembourg. Might also be able to
practise my Finnish on him - sceptical he can actually speak it - I reckon it's
a myth.'

What and who is she talking about?

All in all, a rather odd letter.